What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
