it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I love you. Go after that dick
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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