Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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