I wannas sexs uuuuu
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Oh god it's open bar.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
