paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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