Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
this just has baby written all over it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
