I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
