bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
