Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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