R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you would pick up someone in the library
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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