Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
