i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize