her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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