know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
