My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
