paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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