there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
