I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
