Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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