About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
