She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
