He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
