It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
