I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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