Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he was CRYING into my vagina
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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