I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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