If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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