somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
