There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
