It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
