that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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