Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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