his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
