Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
