I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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