Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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