So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
