I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
