My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
