she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
