I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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