i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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