Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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