your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
