Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
this is an emotional support booty call
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
