I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
