She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My dick has a subreddit
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize