he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
