I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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