I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
