I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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