Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
