If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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