then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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