So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
