at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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