I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
