What did we do last night that was yellow?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
