Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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