I'm going to jail i love you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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