so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
