Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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