Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
