i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There's always time for handjobs
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
