Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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