it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
