hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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