And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
