call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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