yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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