1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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