it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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