Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
