Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
