five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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