How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
