In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
