How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
