brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize